I'm in such a foul mood. I got a total of 2.5 hours sleep because the combo of a new vitamin coupled with some cold medicine kept me hopped up all night. The only advantage of being up at 2am was I got to chat with old blogging friends across a few continents. I even got a head start on work when the UK office signed on around 3am. The UK staff thought I was really dedicated but I didn't bother setting them straight.

Read this post which really touched my heart. I live in a country where divorce is more or less widely accepted. (Note: I'm not making a judgment call. I 'm just pointing out a fact so if you're going to comment that I'm some sort of pro-divorce zealot save us both time and bite me.) However, if you are of a certain ethnic background there is still a major stigma associated with a "broken marriage". I recently saw a rerun of the Sopranos where Carmella tells her mob boss husband Tony that she has proceeded filing for a divorce to which he responds "We're Italian. We don't believe in divorce." I know plenty of divorced people. One of the guys in our circle of friends dated a girl for 6 months before he popped the question. It seems that as soon as the ring was placed on her finger the true Liz came out and the true Liz was a control freak. Liz was more concerned with the idea of getting married rather than the marriage itself. The planning of their lavish wedding took a toll on their relationship. Our friend kept downplaying her emotional swings as "wedding planning pressure". Seriously folks, the wedding ceremony is supposed to be symbolic rituals followed by a party. It's one day (or up to 2 weeks depending on your religion). The wedding is the easy part whereas the marriage is in the everyday good and bad. Anyway they separated 6 months after they got married. He's now happily remarried with a son while I believe she's still complaining that the roses in her bouquet were the wrong shade of lavender.

My cousin AJ is a wonderfully nice guy. He's 30, friendly, smart (surgeon). When he was in medical school in Europe he would spend his summer breaks with my parents in Chicago. AJ is also a sensitive guy. Tragically his 18 year old brother died when AJ was 11 and I think an event like that stays with you forever. AJ's mom has had some issues with depression which I think has, for the most part, gone untreated. His brother's death broke an already fragile marriage. My uncle barely came home after that and about 10 years ago married an Indian woman who worked with him in Saudi Arabia. My aunt seemed oblivious to it all and her mental health took yet another nose dive. There were stories of her giving away stuff from the house to leaching friends and relatives. It would start with little trinkets brought back from the Gulf and at some point escalated to the all the dishes in the house disappearing. AJ says he doesn't want to get married but I know the truth. He doesn't want to relive it or explain it all to some Ammachi who's trying to marry off her ultra-fair niece.

My cousin L and I got married right around the same time. The nitty gritty of it all as told by my busybody aunt is this: Aiyo! Minty mol is going to marry some white man she met somewhere (through friends). No, he doesn't have his Master's Degree. I think his family is farmers (Yeah. Wisconsin automatically meant farming). Thank God he's Catholic (ha! I went to church way more then D ever did) so their children will be saved. (just got the ring on the finger and she was planning out my off-spring). In comparison L had an "arranged marriage" (i.e. her relatives introduced her to someone they thought was suitable). She's an accountant and he's a doctor. They had checked this guy out and he looked great on paper. Unfortunately paper doesn't show stuff like overbearing mother-in-laws and the grooms increasing penchant for drinking with the boys. A few years ago we heard L got a divorce and people mercilessly speculated that it was all her fault. When L came down for my sister's wedding when we went out one night she confided the whole sordid story to me. Her high paying job at some multinational company was being phased out so she received a great severence package that included 6 months of pay and benefits. She goes home to India (mind you she was raised in London) and was relentlessly badgered by a few relatives about how old she was (26) and how she owed it to her parents to get settled down (her dad wasn't in the best of health at that time). She refused but after about a month she started believing it all. Now anyone who knows my cousin L, knows she's the life of the party. She is EXTREMELY outgoing and affectionate with everyone, including (gasp) men. She said the first few guys (or their moms) were completely scared off by her use of direct eye contact and her knack for conversation. By the time her future husband came along, she was beginning to believe that this was her only chance at a happy life. She ended up marrying a guy who was the biggest momma's boy on the planet. She couldn't have a drink without being referred to as an alcoholic. All of a sudden her shirts were too tight and married women don't wear shorts (even in 90 degree days in London). The friction between them intensified and it all came to a head one night when he hit her. She says hit but from the scene she describes it sounds worse. They're divorced now. L refuses to explain her reasons to the random people that ask. The height of it was her ex-mother-in-law confronting her saying she has forever disgraced her father and no one will ever want her. I'm stunned when she tells me this. I'm even more stunned when I realize she actually believes it.

Oh Pandora..why must you f- -k with me? Cher?? What in all of my musical choices made you think that I wanted to listen to Cher?? I let Celine Dion singing River Deep Mountain High slide because you must have thought River Deep Mountain High= Ike and Tina Turner=solo Tina Turner= old school Areatha Franklin which I love. But Cher??? You're just toying with me and like a 6th grade crush I know you mess with me cos you like me. But Cher??

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To show you that I'm serious about letting you into The Inner Sanctum of Mint (TISOM) this week, I thought I would start by showing you my favorite room in the house. As a little digression; We were living in a 1 bedroom condo when I got pregnant with the Boy. I affectionately say I got knocked up because we were married and technically you don't get "knocked up" if there is legal documentation that practically requires you to share a bathroom with someone. The condo was ok for a young married couple. We had a life hence we weren't really bothered by the 70 year old Russian couple who lived next door and proceeded to get into heated yelling matches from time to time. (Although none of that was as freaky as the time we heard them make up. My ears still burn thinking of it). We knew we wanted to stay in the general vicinity and knew what our price limit was. We happened to see the ad in the paper for this house that was being sold by owner and decided to stop by the open house on a cold Sunday in December. We had spent the previous few weeks trudging to different houses. The nice ones were well above our price range and those we could afford looked like crap. (Ads that said "Needs some updating" usually meant that indoor plumbing was not included). We pulled up to the house andtried not to get too excited. The front exterior was brick and the backyard was a dream come true for D who immediately envisioned the garden of his dreams. We took a deep breath and was blown away with how cute the house looked. This was a visual illusion that is known as "staging". There are even TV shows now based soley on how to stage your house to sell. The color of the walls hid the cracks and the heat from the people milling around disguised the fact that the windows protected you from the cold as well as a piece of paper did. But something about the house touched our spirit. The sellers were a young couple with 2 kids who were buying a bigger house around the corner. In the end we bought it and I can honestly say I've never regretted it until...

I'm pregnant with the Girl. We now realize the third bedroom doesn't sustain heat very well and it's pretty small. Because we love the area we live in we decide that we'll build a master bedroom and bathroom upstairs. Countless delays and cost increases later we come upon my favorite room in the house. The bedroom has high lofted ceilings (something I love). If I had to think of 2 earthly possessions that I can't live without, they both happen to be found in this room. Drum role please......

Earthly Possession #1:The chair

I've always dreamed of having a big overstuffed chair in my bedroom. It makes me feel all grown up. The chenille blanket is supposed to look like it was just thrown there without a thought but the truth is I spent like 5 minutes trying to get it to look right for the picture.

The Balcony

D really wanted a balcony to sit out on and enjoy quiet mornings with a cup of fresh brewed coffee. The truth of the matter is that we have 2 kids and most of the time they're awake before us so ain't no quiet to be found. AND even though I don't mind it so much now, the balcony ended up eating into my closet space which I didn't realize until they put the drywall up. I told D if we ever run out of closet space it's HIS clothes that are going out on his beloved balcony.

The comforter (aka duvet or bedspread)

The pattern on the comforter is meant to look like patchwork saris but it cost a lot of money cos we have a queen size bed. America likes to "ethnisize" things and then charge ridiculous amounts of money for it. How do people with king size beds afford sheets?? I liked the color of the wall until I bought the comforter and then I realized the color needed to be a shade more sage green. Because of the delays in construction, D had to hurry and paint the room while I was still in the hospital recovering from the Girl's c-section. I tried to suggest that we change the paint color but he just shots me a look. Apparently he's willing to live with the wall color not matching the bedspread. *rolls eyes*

Earthly possession #2: The ceiling fan

Not to start any rumors but, I'm easy. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy. This ceiling fan was expensive it came with a promise that you couldn't hear it even on the highest setting. I'm a fairly light sleeper so a noisy ceiling fan may ruin my entire night. When it was first installed, D and I laid on the bed with our eyes closed and just enjoyed this fan for hours . When I die, I'm having this fan buried with me.

BTW, the multiple doors you see are; the door out to the stairs (far right), a linen closet, and to the far left is the bathroom with a walk-in closet.

Well that's it. We're living the American dream by living in debt. By the time we pay off the house, the kids will be out of university. I look forward to them bringing their respective boyfriend/girlfriends to the house for D to mercilessly mock.

Some sad news on an otherwise happy Chinese New Year. My uncle (dad's brother) passed away last night. As with all the deaths on that side, his passing was sudden and unexpected. He apparently didn't feel well and turned to his wife and said "I think I'm going to die." He asked to see his kids but collapsed and died 10 minutes later. My dad has grieved the loss of 2 brothers in less then a year.

I'm currently sitting in our living room testing out the wireless connection on my computer. I rarely work anywhere except my office but I've been plagued with neck problems from my hours spent in front of the computer. D took the Boy to the library and the girl is currently napping. The house is quiet except for the creaking of our dryer which is on its last leg. Chutney is wondering around the house looking for clean surfaces to drool on.

Here are some recent pictures of our overgrown puppy:












The weather is so dreary. I really can't find anything positive to say about it. 2 weeks ago it snowed like crazy.



And now we have rain that chills you to the bone. With our choices of outdoor activities limited,
the boy and I baked a cake to celebrate Chinese New Year.





By evening we were so stir crazy that we decided to brave the cold rain and head into Chinatown.



We had a wonderful dinner and were it not for the drizzle and falling temperatures we would have gone back out for the parade today.


I'm trying to have more discipline in my life. I set little goals for myself everyday. I think I devoted too much of 2005 trying to just get by when I could have been enjoying myself a bit more. One of the goals this week is to blog a little more consistently. That's right folks. You will be treated to new posts everyday this week. I'm not promising any life altering, meaningful posts. I'm just sayin you'll get a full share of Mint Chutney in the days to come. Considering how boring my life really is I'm sure you'll be looking forward to my previous once in a blue moon posts. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Since I started working from home I nearly all but stopped watching TV. This is actually rather surprising since I used to be somewhat of an addict. People assume that I'm home so I must watch TV all day but the truth of the matter is that I can't stand daytime TV. I'd rather thread my own eyebrows then watch a talk show or a daytime soap. As much flexibility as I have with the job, it's a known fact that I'm in my office working every night after the kids are asleep. I TiVo a few shows that I barely get to watch. However, some nights when I just don’t feel like working, I come down and watch whatever movie is on regardless of how cheesy it is. Tonight for my viewing pleasure I’m watching the Peacemaker with George Clooney and Nicole Kidman. There are so many reasons for me to rip on this movie:

• George Clooney is playing his character from ER the only difference being he’s a colonel in the US Army.
• Nicole Kidman failing to keep her Australian accent under control while she’s playing the US Secretary of Missing Nuclear Weapons or some such nonsense.
• Cheesy lines like “Let’s Rock and Roll” from Clooney as he commands his choppers into Russian airspace.
• The majority of the shots of Serbian exiles have red headed extras which made me think they filmed it in Ireland.
• The New York extras keep looking in the camera.
  
  However the cheeseball factor never fully got in the way of my interest and I kinda got into it.
  
  Even at the end when I got a big serving of Mozzarella with a side of Swiss.

I STARTED WRITING THIS POST 4 DAYS AGO.

I've decided that on each new post I'm going to cite my favorite quote of the blogs I've recently cruised. Today's quote belongs to Ms Tablemannered who writes:

"I don't mind reality. I mind the awareness of our reality"

(sigh)
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I hate that people who don't really know me act as if they know me. I think I'm a nice person (for the most part). I try and be a positive person and I'm fiercely loyal to those I love. As much as I like people, I'm a loner at heart. I love my alone time and I don't feel the need to go out all the time. Recently an old friend of mine (we used to be pretty good friends but lead busy lives and have thus drifted apart) has been calling all the time to get together. She doesn't live too far and threatens to stop by all the time. After my third decline of an invitation to get together she asked "Are you depressed?" Huh? Where the hell did that come from? "No, I'm just busy." Why can't we have our alone time without it being interpreted as some sort of emotional crisis?

I'm addicted to Pandora (thanks Rat and Naaz). Pandora lulls you into believing that it knows your musical taste. Oh, you if like Peter Gabriel then you'll like this song by the Jayhawks. Since you like Bob Marley we'll throw in some Toots and the Maytals . Just when I think I've found the perfect DJ it throws in some random crap. How random you ask? Olivia freaking Newton-John random! My ears nearly started bleeding when Celine Dion came on. Unless there's a big ship going down and Leonardo DiCaprio has a wet shirt on then I can live without Celine. AND Mr. Pandora, just because I love some old school 80's music doesn't mean I'll like every fringe-jacket wearing band with over modulated synthesizers.

Celebrated a late Christmas with D's family this past weekend. As much as I love them it's shocking how ignorant some (ok, mainly just one) of them are. We were showing a few of our India pictures and came across one of the Boy with his cousins hugging each other. D's step-dad goes "How did the Boy communicate with them?" I grimace. "They speak English" I calmly say while I sarcastically thought "Yes, they allow the natives to learn the supreme language once they build their mud hits and gather enough coconuts to last the winter." My brother-in-law Paul who's one of the funniest on that side couldn't help it and said "Get out! They speak English outside the US?"


The kids and their presents


My brother-in-law B with the Girl. I didn't think I'd like him so much considering he's a Republican with an NRA (National Riffle Association) sticker on his car but he's like a teddy bear who loves the kids a lot. We'll never see eye-to-eye on politics.

I know this will come as a shock to you but...it's cold in Chicago. Here's pictures of the snow falling in the back-yard.




These pictures are dedicated to those who have left the shores of Lake Michigan for the warmth of the Calcutta sun and the splendor that is Delhi. Now get off your exiled butt and put up a new post.

Greeting from California. I'm confused about what time it is but I'm fairly sure the sun hasn't come up yet. I went straight from the airport to the office and stayed late meeting with my manager and my team. There were people going out for drinks last night and as hard as they convinced me to go with them I retreated to the quiet of my room. I changed into my pajamas and ordered room service and took my laptop out to do some work. I remember eating my hamburger and washing up. I have a distant memory of turning on the TV and that was it. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep at 9pm (which in all fairness is 11pm in Chicago). I was awoken by a knock on my door at fucking 1am in the morning. I could here the drunken giggles of my colleagues and through the peephole I saw about 6 of them standing there waiting for me to open up. What was more disturbing was the group now included the cute Canadian business guy from my December meeting. I promptly climbed back into bed and under the covers and luckily they didn't persist. I watched Fraiser, one of the best written sitcoms in history, until 3am all the while eyeing my laptop on the table. When I have work that needs to be done my laptop beckons like a siren's call. Her alluring purr is a trap because when you start to work, the purr turns into a whirring sound. Perhaps it was always a whirring sound and I just chose to hear it differently.

The Boy called me at 5am to say good morning and to give me the run down on what he had for breakfast. D said the Boy slept in bed with him last night but he tosses and turns so it's not as restful as when I'm in bed. "Is that your way of saying you miss me?" I asked, to which he sighed and said "Yes..." (aw) "...plus you don't kick." (oh).

OK. I'm going to shower and get my day started. Tonight there's a big group dinner with "team building" activities and TL will be there so I'm sure to have a good time.

Cya

I'm leaving the cold of Chicago for a quick trip to Southern California. I figure my sleep schedule is already off by 12 hours so another 2 ain't gonna make much of a difference.

I left my make-up case on the plane to India during our layover in Frankfurt. I'm not a big make-up person but I do invest in a good cleanser and foundation. I took the case out so I could freshen up (i.e. brush my teeth) when I went to change the Girl's diaper. For various reasons it was easier for D to take her so I must have left it out on the seat. When we deplaned in Germany we were told to take everything off so they could clean the plane. The bastards took my make-up case along with my copy of the DiVinci Code. Anyway, today we went to the store to buy a replacement foundation before my trip to Cali. D balked when he saw the price. "You don't think I'm worth $XX??", I said to which he quickly (and wisely) shut up and walked away.

We've also found a cheap and warm way to entertain the kids during the winter; take them to the mall. Who knew they would find so much amusement going up and down the escalators?

Recently I've become pretty close to one of the Boy's tutors and am on a quest to renew her faith in men after coming out of a horrible relationship. I've done some matchmaking in my day and am proud to admit that I've got quite the track record; 2 marriages and 1 couple living together. His teacher is pretty hot in a wears-no-make-up-during-the-day but looks -hot-at-night. I'm kinda sorta ready to fix her up with a good friend of mine but he's being wishy washy lately and (in my humble opinion) there is nothing less sexy than a wishy-washy guy. Ms Teacher said if the obvious perks weren't there she would totally start batting for the other team at which time D's jaw nearly dropped 2 feet. OYE.

My older sister is came over tonight to watch the kids while D and I caught a movie. We couldn't decide so we drew names from a hat and Casanova won. Heath Ledger is yummy. I'm pleased I was able to slip yet another costume drama in on the heels of Pride and Prejudice.

I had a dream last night about a baby girl. I was nursing her in a rocking chair while I was softly singing. EVerytime a song would be over she would stop nursing until I started singing again. I must have gone through the usual list of llulabies because I remember singing Under African Skies by Paul Simon to her. I think dreams of having babies are not actually about babies but rather about new beginnings. *rubs her hands in anticipation*

D held my hand a little longer and harder than normal today. I guess sometimes I take traveling for granted but post September 11th has taught us that nothing can be taken for granted anymore. Without sounding too morbid it made me realize that we still haven't made an official will. D doesn't like talking about such things but they're a necessary part of life especially when you have kids. I've watched enough Six Feet Under to realize that grieving will bring out the worst in people. Yes, an official will. Definitely on my TO DO for 2006.

Up since 4am but feeling a bit more awake today. I think the worst part of taking a trip to a warm climate is having to return to the bleakness of home. It's cold and drab outside and it feels as if the sun forgot that we exist. We've definitely decided that our next trip to India will occur in the month of January so we are at least under the illusion that winter is somewhat shorter. Lucky for me I leave for the warmth of California next week for work.

India was a whirlwind. The kids did exceptionally well on the plane considering it was 22 hours of sitting on our ass. We arrived in Mumbai at about 2am and the change in temperature from Chicago was drastic. By the time we arrived in Kerala we were all excited and the hours spent on the plane seemed to be forgotten. My cousin held up a huge banner welcoming us and my parents nearly broke through the security barricade to hug the kids. At 18 months the Boy used to go to anyone who picked him up. The Girl on the other hand is a TOTAL DIVA. It's her way or the highway. By the end of the trip people learned to ignore her initial protests and just walk out of sight of me and D and she's be fine. The next 10 days were filled with seeing relatives, seeing the sites, shopping and eating. I warned D ahead of time that we would be seeing a lot of relatives and that despite the fact that we may have eaten not 10 minutes ago, there would be food waiting . He joked that he's always hungry and it would be no problem for him to gnash at each stop. Man was he wrong. Over the course of 8 hours one day we stopped at no fewer than 15 houses and at each house there was a full spread waiting for us. At about day 10 D pulled me aside and said "I love you but I can't eat anymore Indian food". My sister's husband R on the other hand tried a bit of everything that was presented to him including kadumanga (mango pickle). He nearly made it through the whole trip without any illness but drank a glass of roadside sugar cane juice which apparently he has all the time on business trips to Singapore. No offense but it was green... it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it was a bad idea. An hour later we pulled over so he could throw up. Both D and R were such good sports. D (my gem) only got annoyed one or 2 times during the trip despite the fact we were constantly being pulled into 15 different directions. R is also a gem. He's super-smart and talented (engineer by day, DJ by night) and SO loving to J. Don't get me wrong, Dr J's quite a catch herself but she can be damn moody sometimes. R is really shy but he went right up to my grandmother and held her hand despite not understanding a word she said. My poor senile grandmother was wondering what the hell this 6 foot white guy was doing in her house.

Other thoughts from the trip:

• D and I shared the same room (and in many cases the same bed) with the kids the entire trip. At one point I turned to him and said that having them there was a hell of a lot cheaper than getting an IUD.
• Drivers in India are CRAZY. In America, sounding the horn is usually done as an act of desperation to get someone's attention and is generally looked upon as rude. In India, honking is you're way of saying "How you doin?...now get the hell out of my way".
• What pills are Bollywood actresses taking and where can I get some? Is there some sort of lab somewhere in Delhi that grows these genetically perfect women?? The skin, the hair, the bodies...WOW. On our flight, Air India played a mix of entertainment including a Hindi movie. If D stared any harder at the screen we would have had to surgically remove his eyes from it.
• One of the highlights of the trip for me was when my cousin convinced D and R to have an ayurvedic massage. Poor guys probably had an image of scantily-clad bollywood actress type women rubbing their backs. Apparently the message was done by not one but TWO big Indian men while a third (supposedly an apprentice) watched in the corner. D said the only thing that kept him chuckling was the fact that poor, unsuspecting R (who is SUPER shy) was waiting in the hall for his turn. As if the massage wasn't bad enough, the man actually helps wash the oil off afterwards. R couldn't had enough by then and insisted that he would wear his clothes without a shower. My sister said she's still trying to get the smell of oil off his t-shirt. Both guys came home and wouldn't even make eye contact with us. D said he felt like he was in the Shawshank Redemption. I gave him a kiss and said only a man who is secure with his masculinity would let another man rub oil on him.
• I was mesmorized by some Hindi music videos, most notably one for a movie called Bluffmaster. There's a video MTV kept playing called Right Here Right Now and I can't get the hook out of my mind.
• I did a presentation for the Kerala branch of my company which went well. Hopefully it will all pay off and I'll get to return more often.
• Went to the post office to pick up our mail that was on hold and was so surprised when they handed me a package. I will respect the bloggers' privacy so I won't post a picture of it. Just know that it really was one of the nicest things anyone has ever made for me. A million thanks, hugs, and kisses.

And now for the picture portion of the show:

The day before we left it snowed. Here's a snap of the house across the street. What you can't see in the picture is the 85 inch TV they have in their living room. The screen is so big that astronauts on the space station can watch the Simpson's every day at 6pm sharp.

Here's a pic of R the day we arrived looking at the massive house being constructed across the street.

We went sari shopping one day and D holding the Girl attracted the attention of every sales woman in the place. D learned one new Malayalam word or phrase every day we were there. The phrase this particular day happened to be "English aryamo" (do you know English). He tried that line every chance he got. When he whipped out the camera every sales model grabbed a sari and posed for him. OYE.

The Girl wanted a bubble bath so we improvised.

We went on a wonderful houseboat cruise. The boat had AC (very important) as well as a dining area and living room space. Here's what it looked like from the outside.

The boat had 3 bedrooms. Here's ours.

I took a serious of B&W which I'm framing for my office. Here's one of my favorite.

The Girl enjoying the boatride.

View of the sunset from the houseboat.

The Boy and Girl at the Trivandrum Zoo.

From our "It's a Small World" file, R and J are friends with an Indian couple who were getting engaged and married the week we were there. R and J went to the engagement at some large estate which the bride's family owned. Here's a blog friendly shot of the couple.

Here's the 6 foot tree we lugged to India. The candy canes actuallymelted from the heat by the end of the trip.

Here's the milk and cookies we left out for Santa. We always leave a carrot for the reindeers.

Here's D putting the gifts out and eating the milk and cookies. I of course had to eat the carrot cos he acts as if he's allergic to vegetables.

Tree X-mas morning.

View of the hills on the way to my grandma's place.

Here's my grandma and R.

The sugar cane juice that made R sick. I took one look at the state of the machine used to get the juice and promptly got back in the car.

My hand hurts from typing. Friends and family can see more pictures on Flickr over the next week or so.

My dad has already called twice to say he misses the kids. I miss all my family there. I miss having someone cook my meals and wash my clothes. I miss the weather. I miss the sun.

I'm slowly returning back to life back in the US. It's my second day back at work and I'm already 3 weeks behind. It's good to be home.

I'm home. What time is it?...What day is it??... What year is it???

The journey home was a combined 22 hours. At one point I almost broke into the cockpit to ask the pilot if he could go any faster.

Will write a proper update later but the basics are this:

1. Had a great time
2. My parent's new house is lovely (spent a total of 3 nights there as we were travelling the rest of the time).
3. Took 983 pictures on my camera (no joke) of which I am only present in about 6. (I can hear Rat groan from here)
4. My head hurts.
5. My back hurts.

Happy New Year everyone!